Blameless

The way we ended was too familiar and for that I blame myself. I blame myself for listening to your carefully crafted sentences; you said stopping communication when you left would feel “inorganic”. What I refused to hear was your intent to slowly disappear over the next 4-5 weeks so your hands would hold no blood. I blame myself for not listening to YOUR friends when they told me to see the truth and run. Why would they protect me over you? I blame myself for mistaking your deceit for charm. I blame myself for a lot of foolish things when it comes to you but I don’t blame myself for casting aside my fear.

Fear itself should have been enough to warn me off you, but I dodged every red flag like an arrow to a target. It took a clear standstill in conversation for me to accept that this was over. I’m still not one hundred percent sure what the nail in the coffin was because you denied me that right with your abrupt and suffocating silence.  And I’m not one to force explanations out of anyone nor am I going to convince you to be with me. After all our relationship was something you initiated. Now, at the end of our story, I know you don’t walk blamelessly out of this and that is enough for me.