It was a Tuesday night toward the end of February, Eddie was gathered by two of his best friends at a house that wasn’t his nor theirs. A house encapsulated by trees, and for this evening a fortress for his heartache. A place where he could hide from the pain that would come tomorrow, next week and months down the line. Because pain comes in waves sometimes. Especially when you lie. When you tell the truth it only hurts once but when you lie it hurts every time you remember it. This rule can apply to you when you lie to others but sadly it also applies when you lie to yourself.
Eddie had told a boy, who he was afraid of losing forever, that he was fine staying “just friends” when that was only half of the truth. The real truth would have been that he has enjoyed the last two months more than he could have ever imagined possible. The real truth is that he was head over heels and in just a couple weeks would and/or could be saying I LOVE YOU. The real truth was he didn’t know how he could ever see the man who holds his heart without him and holding the heart of another. The real truth is after this he would truly be broken.
Half the truth is essentially a lie. Now from that point on he will be reminded of his mistake each time he makes mashed potatoes, each time he hears Halsey’s voice come on the radio, each time he passes the Tyson’s Mall exit. If only he had spoken up. If only he hadn’t smiled and nodded in agreement only to keep himself from sobbing. If only he said what was in his heart in that moment “I want to pursue us because I think I am falling in love with you.” I guess we have to learn to live with our decisions/mistakes no matter how broken you feel after they are made.