The waiting room is bland, almost resembling that of an airport terminal. Splashed with drab gray-colored walls and pale, sputum yellow airport chairs. All concessions present but already closed for today. Just multiple rows of chairs and enough room in between for pacing. The “waiting room” game is never a game that is intentional or enjoyed. Waiting for a text. Waiting for eventual rain when the sun burns to bright for too long. Waiting for a train that never left the previous station. Waiting for your Nicholas Sparks summer romance. I’m playing this waiting game, and it’s not fun. No one ever asks you to play; sometimes one doesn’t even know they are playing.And time one spends waiting, I’m not going to lie it can be painful.
A constant reel of things you “might’ve” done wrong playing on a loop in your head is mentally exhausting. Picking apart every conversation you’ve had isn’t healthy. You shouldn’t have to tread so lightly when speaking with someone you care about; better yet “cares about you”. Time in the waiting room can bring the strongest of romantics to their knees. The romantics that usually fall the hardest and fastest. The ones who are hopeful and believe in what tomorrow will bring. The ones who have lived through the “it will get better” moments. The ones who drive 2.5 hours to Rehoboth Beach alone not for the sand and tan, but to see a boy and then to be shunned into a purgatory I like to call the “waiting room”. Just large amounts of space left to pace and think in the waiting room.
The hardest part about it all is when do you let go and leave, when do you stop tormenting yourself with all this waiting? When do you get fed up will the hard linoleum seats and watery cafeteria coffee? There’s nothing else to do but think, though most of the time you forget to think about yourself, about what you deserve. So wake up and look around! Take a long hard look at your current situation. If you find yourself in one of these waiting rooms, LEAVE. Go to the nearest exit.
GET THE HELL OUT!
Get out while you still have time to change your narrative or begin a new one. You are better. You deserve better.